Onto The Next

It's January 5th and I never got around to writing a New Year's post. But, I figure the 2015 #bestyearyet posts will be relevant until at least mid-February so we're good. Plus, I've written one every year I've had this blog so at this point it's basically a tradition and I feel weirdly obligated to write something. 

So, here we go...2015.

But first: I have a lot of thoughts. And I've been lost in mental ramblings in far too many showers (sorry, drought) lately that I think it's finally time to share. 

Truth is...a big part of me feels like this blog is over. I've been feeling this way for a while, thinking that maybe it's finally time to start a new chapter, a new project, and say goodbye to this little website. Tie a pretty bow on it and send it to internet heaven where it'll find comfort next to my three inappropriate/embarrassing AIM screen names, Oregon Trail high score (no dysentery!), and first MySpace default photo that I know is still floating out there in cyberspace waiting to haunt me when I suddenly decide to run for office. 

But real talk: is style blogging so 2011? When I first started this site, blogging was still this niche community. "Blogger Royalty" didn't exist yet and my favorite bloggers wore clothes they had actually bought themselves. People who didn't know about this cyber-world probably thought I was weird for posting outfits of myself. But honestly, I didn't care. I had discovered a world of new ideas, bloggers I admired, and a platform to truly express myself. And suddenly, in the midst of this personal discovery...blogging became a lot more mainstream and had its heyday, if you will. But, in my opinion, this heyday has since come and gone—replaced with Instagrams and Vines and Snapchats and a cultural desire for short form content with a few more filters and lot fewer words. And while I love photography and really do believe a picture is worth a thousand words...this makes me kind of sad.

But, that's not to say I ever blogged because I thought it was cool. I'm just saying that as the media landscape has shifted...so have my own tastes and interests. It's a shift that's pulling me in a few different directions. Towards photography and towards longer prose...neither of which feel quite right on a style blog named after coffee and clothes.

I'm wanting more from myself creatively...I'm just not sure what that "more" is yet. However, I do think this past year helped set a foundation for me to find out. 

—

In all honestly, 2015 was not the easiest. It was a year of growing up. I mean, I'm not 100% an adult since I still don't fully understand insurance premiums or know how much cell phone service costs sans family plan. But nevertheless, it was a big year for me. 

I moved into my own studio, I worked long nights and early mornings, I took my photography more seriously, I made good decisions that went south and bad decisions that turned into wonderful surprises, I allowed myself to embrace the unexpected, and net net...I kept my 2015 resolution.

All in all, I'm still undecided about what's next for this dear old blog. Or...what's next for me, rather. While I'm not the same doe-eyed undergrad who started this blog 5 years ago, a large part of me fears that in giving it up, I'll be giving up a part of myself. The part—the girl—who found solace writing blog posts late at night in her sorority closet (truth) and found an identity as The Caffeinated Closet.

Yes, the same girl who is trying to shop less and give up coffee for 2016.

Yup, that one. 

New Year, Same Me

I'm never quite sure how to feel about New Years posts. When it finally comes time to write one, I always feel like I'm at a loss for words—overwhelmed at the task of summarizing an entire year in a single post. And I'm not sure who these posts are really for, since my personal (old school scribbled, not typed) diary might give you a much different story than the one I'm sharing on this blog. But, I'd like to think that somewhere in my jumbled stream of consciousness that I'm anxiously writing in the last two hours of January 1 (because after that, who really wants to read a reflective New Year, New Me post?) there may be a few relatable bits and pieces.

Let me start off by saying that even if I could, I wouldn't change a thing about this year. Because even with the memories I kind of want to erase (and yes, there are more than a few)...I learned something important about myself and about others. It's been a crazy, terrible/terribly wonderful 12 months. There have been a lot of emotions. Of uncertainty, of anxiety, of passion, of loneliness, of excitement, of newfound independence...that all cumulatively feel like some sort of twenty-something right of passage. The kind of feelings that make me think maybe T-Swift was onto something.

2014 was a year of transition for me. It was my first official year out of school...even though I pretended to be in college until June. And getting used to the 8 to 5 lifestyle (or let's be honest, 7 to 7 lifestyle because commuting is a real life thing that actually sucks) isn't as easy as I thought it would be. But at the same time, it's been great. I honestly think I may be having more fun as a postgrad than I did in college. PSA: Life doesn't end after college. Especially when you're lucky enough to have best friends to brave this uncharted territory with you. In fact, there's something liberating about this newfound independence, this quasi-adulthood. As challenging as working full-time can be, it can be just as fulfilling. And paying Big Girl bills yourself is also kind of rewarding—especially when you finally accept that you have no actual concept of personal finance and that that's OK, at least for the time being.

I decided to post a photo of my cozy post-college apartment, because it's been my little refuge for the second half of the year. It was a move that came at a time I desperately needed to be pulled out of a rut, and centered me when I had felt like a postgrad hobo bouncing between empty apartments, sublets, and my hometown for an entire summer. Also, if you need a remedy for a broken heart, moving to a new place and focusing all your energy on custom framing and decorative throw pillows can help. I think the saying goes something like: The best way to get over someone is to get under...a new Anthropologie duvet? Jury's still out on that one, but it certainly didn't hurt.

I'm not very good at making resolutions, and even the ones I do make are too vague to keep. (Eat healthier, exercise more. Does more imply "more" than once?). But there is a kind of resolution I do want to keep this year, since whether I want to admit it or not, a lot of 2014 felt dictated by a number of personal relationships. So for 2015, I want to be the one in command of my own happiness. I've got a diary full of reasons behind this resolution, but nothing is more blog-worthy than that simple statement.

So, cheers to 2015!  It's a new year, but it's the same me. This time, actively taking control of my own well-being.

Postgrad year #2: I'm ready for you.

Growing Pains And Everything In Between

2013...ohhhh where do I begin? Let me start out by saying: 2013 was one for the books. I'm fairly certain I used the exact same phrase in last year's New Year's post, but um, I'm pretty sure they would be filed in very different record books. Like 2012 would be in Guinness' World Records, and 2013 would get recorded in some strange, alternative book that no one wants to read.

You know, I've thought long and hard about this post (just kidding, I'm writing it on the fly), and the best way to describe 2013 was that it was kind of—please excuse my French—the little asshole of years. But as completely overly dramatic as I'm being, I'm also so grateful this year happened. I needed this year to happen; I needed the growing pains. Looking back, I can honestly say I've learned more about myself in these twelve (or really even six) months than I have in the past four years. Self-awareness was a big thing for me this year. As was growth.

I feel like a different person now than when the year started, but not in any drastic way. I just feel healthier and more in control of my well-being. The book I'm currently reading talks a lot about growth as a means of happiness. And while the growing pains themselves weren't pleasant, I think I've finally reached a plateau of contentment, as well as excitement for the coming year. For the first time in my life, I'm running regularly (shocking, I know), eating healthier (of course there's always the occasional chocolate croissant/wine binge), and even meditating. I hope to keep up these habits in the coming year and add on new ones like reading and writing more, even as I'm working full-time.

Anyway, the number 13 is usually associated with superstition (or just awkward-pubescent-junior-high-teenhood), so REALLY 2013 was doomed from the beginning. So, by that logic, if 13 was the year of bad luck/difficult changes....I'm hoping 14 can be the fun and carefree "freshman" year of my postgrad life. I'll be adorably innocent, and maybe even some hunky senior on the football team will want to date me.

Happy 2014! Let's make this a good one :)

To the Best Year Yet.

I originally started this post intending to do another "Looking Back: Twelve Outfits for 2012" just as I did here for 2011. But, after going through my posts trying to compile a list, I realized it really couldn't be done. Because, 2012 has been so. much. more. than just a collection of outfits. However, for the sake of walking down memory lane...here's a collection of my favorite posts of the year!

{A love for polka dots}

{Weekend in Topanga Canyon}

{Falling for LA}

{Adventures in Seattle}

{An afternoon in Larchmont}

{20 Days of Summer}

{Date Night}

{Romance in Rome}

{Moving to Cork}

{Irish Coastlines}

{Exploring Inisheer}

{A day at the Louvre}

{Parisian Fall}

{Victoria Street}

{Wandering in Munich}

To put it simply, this year has been one for the books. Looking back, I can't believe all the wonderful opportunities I have had this year and how much I have learned in these twelve short months. When it comes to years, I tend to organize my memories by school year rather than calendar year. So, as I was going through old photos, I was surprised when I realized that both my trips to Seattle and New York happened in 2012 as well. I don't really know how else to say it...but normally my life is not. this. exciting. Before this year, I had only been on a plane once when I was in sixth grade. I had always liked the idea of traveling, but it wasn't until this year that my love for traveling truly became a reality. The past four months I spent abroad were amazing, and almost feel like a dream now that I am home.

A part of me just wants to write a really long list of all the notable things that happened to me in 2012...but I'm pretty sure no one (including myself) would really want to read it. Mostly, I'm just trying to put into words how blessed I feel and how much I don't want this feeling to end. The truth is, while I am excited to go back to LA for winter quarter and move into my new apartment with my best friends, I am anxious for what the next year has in store. I don't do well with change, so I know these next few weeks (or months) may not be the easiest for me. Nevertheless, I am ready for the adventure and want to make the most of my last year and a half in college.

So...here's to 2013. I really don't know what this year will bring, but all I can hope is that it brings me just as much joy as 2012—even if it may come in a slightly different form.

Happy New Year!

Looking Back: Eleven Outfits for 2011

 {one}

 {two}

 {three}

{four}

{five}

{six}

{seven}

{eight}

 {nine}

{ten}

{eleven}

As the year comes to a close, I thought I should do a little reflecting on this blog of mine. Six months ago, I took a risk and started this blog, unsure of how it would be received. However, I have been overwhelmed by all the positive feedback I have gotten from it, and I truly appreciate all the support I have been given. Starting a blog was always something I wanted to do, and I am so happy that I waited until the right time to start one so that I could really give it my all.

So, here are eleven outfits from the last half of 2011. Feel free to take a walk down memory lane with me and revisit some of my first posts! Compiling this post was fun because it was interesting to see how much my blogging style has changed over the past six months. However, I've still got the same lovely amateur Canon point-and-shoot camera and I'm still working with the same closet (well...with a few minor additions here and there).

I hope for 2012 to bring even more positive changes to this blog and my personal style.

{bonus outfit: remember this?}

Happy New Year! I wish you a happily clothed and caffeinated 2012!