New Year, Same Me

I'm never quite sure how to feel about New Years posts. When it finally comes time to write one, I always feel like I'm at a loss for words—overwhelmed at the task of summarizing an entire year in a single post. And I'm not sure who these posts are really for, since my personal (old school scribbled, not typed) diary might give you a much different story than the one I'm sharing on this blog. But, I'd like to think that somewhere in my jumbled stream of consciousness that I'm anxiously writing in the last two hours of January 1 (because after that, who really wants to read a reflective New Year, New Me post?) there may be a few relatable bits and pieces.

Let me start off by saying that even if I could, I wouldn't change a thing about this year. Because even with the memories I kind of want to erase (and yes, there are more than a few)...I learned something important about myself and about others. It's been a crazy, terrible/terribly wonderful 12 months. There have been a lot of emotions. Of uncertainty, of anxiety, of passion, of loneliness, of excitement, of newfound independence...that all cumulatively feel like some sort of twenty-something right of passage. The kind of feelings that make me think maybe T-Swift was onto something.

2014 was a year of transition for me. It was my first official year out of school...even though I pretended to be in college until June. And getting used to the 8 to 5 lifestyle (or let's be honest, 7 to 7 lifestyle because commuting is a real life thing that actually sucks) isn't as easy as I thought it would be. But at the same time, it's been great. I honestly think I may be having more fun as a postgrad than I did in college. PSA: Life doesn't end after college. Especially when you're lucky enough to have best friends to brave this uncharted territory with you. In fact, there's something liberating about this newfound independence, this quasi-adulthood. As challenging as working full-time can be, it can be just as fulfilling. And paying Big Girl bills yourself is also kind of rewarding—especially when you finally accept that you have no actual concept of personal finance and that that's OK, at least for the time being.

I decided to post a photo of my cozy post-college apartment, because it's been my little refuge for the second half of the year. It was a move that came at a time I desperately needed to be pulled out of a rut, and centered me when I had felt like a postgrad hobo bouncing between empty apartments, sublets, and my hometown for an entire summer. Also, if you need a remedy for a broken heart, moving to a new place and focusing all your energy on custom framing and decorative throw pillows can help. I think the saying goes something like: The best way to get over someone is to get under...a new Anthropologie duvet? Jury's still out on that one, but it certainly didn't hurt.

I'm not very good at making resolutions, and even the ones I do make are too vague to keep. (Eat healthier, exercise more. Does more imply "more" than once?). But there is a kind of resolution I do want to keep this year, since whether I want to admit it or not, a lot of 2014 felt dictated by a number of personal relationships. So for 2015, I want to be the one in command of my own happiness. I've got a diary full of reasons behind this resolution, but nothing is more blog-worthy than that simple statement.

So, cheers to 2015!  It's a new year, but it's the same me. This time, actively taking control of my own well-being.

Postgrad year #2: I'm ready for you.