A 5th Floor Walk-Up

Hi friends...it's been a while. Over a year since I wrote my last post, and almost 2 years since I've published a proper outfit post. But, I'm here to check in and and tell you I've moved—literally and cyber-ly. After a few years of postgrad growing pains, I finally took the leap and moved to New York City to start a new chapter.

And with my latest move has come new inspiration—something I've been looking for since I stopped writing on this blog. Ending The Caffeinated Closet wasn't easy, but I needed a break to center myself, reset my priorities, and explore new creative outlets.

So, I'm excited to finally announce my latest project: 5th Floor Walk-Up. I can't thank you guys enough for supporting this little blog of mine over the past six years, and hope you'll join me on my new adventure.

Love,

Melina

Onto The Next

It's January 5th and I never got around to writing a New Year's post. But, I figure the 2015 #bestyearyet posts will be relevant until at least mid-February so we're good. Plus, I've written one every year I've had this blog so at this point it's basically a tradition and I feel weirdly obligated to write something. 

So, here we go...2015.

But first: I have a lot of thoughts. And I've been lost in mental ramblings in far too many showers (sorry, drought) lately that I think it's finally time to share. 

Truth is...a big part of me feels like this blog is over. I've been feeling this way for a while, thinking that maybe it's finally time to start a new chapter, a new project, and say goodbye to this little website. Tie a pretty bow on it and send it to internet heaven where it'll find comfort next to my three inappropriate/embarrassing AIM screen names, Oregon Trail high score (no dysentery!), and first MySpace default photo that I know is still floating out there in cyberspace waiting to haunt me when I suddenly decide to run for office. 

But real talk: is style blogging so 2011? When I first started this site, blogging was still this niche community. "Blogger Royalty" didn't exist yet and my favorite bloggers wore clothes they had actually bought themselves. People who didn't know about this cyber-world probably thought I was weird for posting outfits of myself. But honestly, I didn't care. I had discovered a world of new ideas, bloggers I admired, and a platform to truly express myself. And suddenly, in the midst of this personal discovery...blogging became a lot more mainstream and had its heyday, if you will. But, in my opinion, this heyday has since come and gone—replaced with Instagrams and Vines and Snapchats and a cultural desire for short form content with a few more filters and lot fewer words. And while I love photography and really do believe a picture is worth a thousand words...this makes me kind of sad.

But, that's not to say I ever blogged because I thought it was cool. I'm just saying that as the media landscape has shifted...so have my own tastes and interests. It's a shift that's pulling me in a few different directions. Towards photography and towards longer prose...neither of which feel quite right on a style blog named after coffee and clothes.

I'm wanting more from myself creatively...I'm just not sure what that "more" is yet. However, I do think this past year helped set a foundation for me to find out. 

—

In all honestly, 2015 was not the easiest. It was a year of growing up. I mean, I'm not 100% an adult since I still don't fully understand insurance premiums or know how much cell phone service costs sans family plan. But nevertheless, it was a big year for me. 

I moved into my own studio, I worked long nights and early mornings, I took my photography more seriously, I made good decisions that went south and bad decisions that turned into wonderful surprises, I allowed myself to embrace the unexpected, and net net...I kept my 2015 resolution.

All in all, I'm still undecided about what's next for this dear old blog. Or...what's next for me, rather. While I'm not the same doe-eyed undergrad who started this blog 5 years ago, a large part of me fears that in giving it up, I'll be giving up a part of myself. The part—the girl—who found solace writing blog posts late at night in her sorority closet (truth) and found an identity as The Caffeinated Closet.

Yes, the same girl who is trying to shop less and give up coffee for 2016.

Yup, that one. 

Write Time

I often worry that if I stop blogging, I'll simply forget how to write. The longer I go not blogging, the more anxious I become about the thought of opening up a blank post and letting words, however silly or significant, transform themselves from jumbled html to coherent prose. I can only imagine the kind of anxiety professional writers must feel, which is why I don't think I could ever write for a living. I think the pressure to churn out creativity on command would ruin it for me. 

Since my last post on August 25th, I haven't attempted to draft anything new. However, there's been countless times I've gone off on mental tangents—usually while driving or cleaning my apartment— and thought "I should really blog about this." Yet, life continues to plug along at what feels like a weird combination of slow motion and hyper-speed, and other things have taken precedent. So, I've lost track of these ideas and left the words suspended in some of kind of limbo between pen and paper. (Or in this case...hand and keyboard?)

After uploading this shot from a weekend trip in Cambria, it took me a solid hour to work up the courage to even start typing. Instead, I lost myself in a daydream (that should really just be...a dream, since it's past 11pm on a Sunday)...staring into the sea of lavender and listening to my latest obsession on Spotify. In hopes of being somewhat-human on Monday morning, I tried to convince myself that 11:38pm on a Sunday night was not an ideal time to start a blog post. But, my irrational fear of forgetting how to write won. So...here we are. 

Now that I've probably lost 95% of the people that started this post, I don't know what to tell the loyal 5% still reading my jumbled Sunday night thoughts. I'm desperately trying to come up with something climactic to say after spending 3 wordy paragraphs writing about writing.

And it's turning into one of those moments. Kind of like the moment you first land a job. You're SO excited you finally have a job, until you realize...OH shit, I actually have to work now. 40 (or 60) hour weeks, 6 am wake-up calls, and 11pm bedtimes even when a tangential blog post is calling your name.

Juncture

I have a love/hate relationship with summer. The past three have brought about lots of changes—falling somewhere in between forgettable and somewhat earth shattering. And this summer appears to be no different. 

I've been MIA from this blog yet again...but if I look back at my pattern of summer postings, I always seem to drop off somewhere in June and find my way back by fall.  Right now, my hiatus is from a combination of things. I'm working the hardest I ever have, wearing many hats and trying to learn as much as I possibly can while I'm still early on in my career. I rarely talk about my job on this blog because I like to keep this world separate, but this summer has been an important time for me at work. 

I'm also putting down roots in LA for the foreseeable future. This spring brought about the first of many quarter(ish) life crises, where each week felt like my life was about to take a complete 180. It was a constant game of stop and go. And it was, to put it simply, exhausting. Even though I couldn't plan past the next week, I didn't live a second in the moment. I wasted 6 months waiting for my life to start. I almost dropped everything to aimlessly travel the world (really). And while that's definitely still a part of the plan, it may need to wait a couple more years.

After all the stop and go, I've finally reached a juncture—the beginning of a new chapter. I'm moving...again. This time, into my own little studio on the Eastside. I'm incredibly excited and nervous at the same time. It's cute, tiny, old and has appliances from the 1950s which may or may not be up to code. It's the first time I'll be living alone and as scary as it might be, it feels like the right time to step out of my comfort zone. 

I spent most of my formative years (and who are we kidding, I'm still in my formative years...but bear with that statement for the purpose of this post) as a we—not a me. While everyone was living a normal, wonderfully reckless college existence...I was meticulously mapping out my Five-Year Plan which involved marriage, kids, and a life so drastically different from where I see those five years now, that the only thing left to do is to chuckle uncomfortably and move on.  But, even as admittedly hard and lonely and frustrating as being just me can be sometimes...this all feels right.

I'm excited to have a place that is truly my own.

So here's to a summer of good change.

...it would appear that the Weird Rut of 2015 (as it's officially named) had a purpose after all.

Character Cap

Open my iPhone Notes app and you'll find a jumble of "dramatic" text message drafts, an amusing list of all dates gone awry, and hodge-podge scribbles of tweet-length thoughts that never came to be. Fleeting notions that felt too trivial to say out loud or blast to my 350 Twitter followers (but really, WHO is counting). Although, read my tweets and you'll probably wonder why my thought provoking-ideas about Trader Joe's made the cut while the embarrassing 10+ drafts of my one-line Tinder bio did not.

More and more, I've found myself reimagining these small soundbites in written form rather than just letting them be forgotten (granted, many times, they probably should be left behind). Pre-social media, I would have just scribbled them down in a journal and never looked back. But now, even with a million social outlets at my disposable, I can never decide on the right medium for these ideas. Because truthfully, I can't help but constantly self-edit. Is this too random? Is it too spammy to post 5 things at once? Will anyone understand my "creative" revelations? Should I just text this random garble to someone instead... (hint: the answer is usually, NO.)

And it's only after running through all these questions that I sit back, and realize I've just spent the past 10 minutes agonizing over a statement about hipsters. Or LA traffic. Or something passive yet political (is that a thing?) that I don't feel informed enough—despite all my Skimming—to publicly associate myself with. And after all the internal back-and-forth...I feel a little silly. BUT, unfortunately not silly enough to keep myself from writing this blog post. I guess the creative process is weird like that.

So, I'm going to continue making a habit of jotting these ideas down and sharing them on whatever medium strikes my fancy in the moment. Beware of rogue text messages, iPhone contacts. Because, you never know when divine inspiration will hit and turn that nonsensical tweet into a NY Times Bestseller...

At least, that's on the 5-year plan.

Strong Suit

To an outsider, style blogging is weird. And when I think about it...maybe it is a little strange that I genuinely enjoy taking outfit photos on a tripod in a stairwell after work. But you know, everyone needs a thing and I guess this one's mine. Another thing of mine is blogging in bars. (I swear—I'm going to make this trend happen. The era of laptops in Starbucks is coming to an end!)

I'm currently blogging at a wine bar in Santa Monica while eavesdropping on people chatting about their reality TV connections. Because...LA. I love the West Side in every way—but thought-provoking conversation isn't its strong suit.

___________

Outfit Details:

Oversized Green Blazer

Madewell Grey Dress

TOMS Bellini Sunglasses

Vintage Black Cameo

GUESS Classic Gold Watch

Black Opaque Tights

Madewell Glasgow Satchel

Madewell Black Ankle Boots

Soapbox

I don't know whether it was my new dress or something else in the air, but I just felt like blogging. And it's a feeling I've been waiting on for quite some time. I've fallen in and out of ruts, but thankfully inspiration has always managed to find its way back to me. However, I must say that waiting for it when it's missing is an uncomfortable and downright painful process. There's nothing particularly special about this outfit, but it made me feel like a cool-girl rocking a paper bag and has enough edge to potentially intimidate a stranger upon first glance. SO, it felt blog worthy. This dress was one of those purchases (like many that I make at Madewell) that I had to sort of force myself to buy. But I've quickly become obsessed/plan to never take it off. Seriously: sleeping, eating, plus-ing or minus-ing 15 pounds—this shift can and will withstand anything. The last recorded case of this kind of obsession involves my grey sweatshirt dress which will likely come back in heavy rotation once it starts to cool down in LA.

I can already feel it...this post is going to be long and wordy and much more information than you probably want in an outfit post. I get it—you came here for outfits and suggestive shopping links—I'm the same way. But, I've salvaged my little old internet soapbox, if only for a moment, so I'm going to ramble as long as my html and attention span will let me.

Lately, I've been caught up in everything except myself and as silly as that sounds, it's true. I think sometimes we (and by we, I mean me) lose ourselves in relationships, work, and anything in between. When one part of my life falls out of whack, it takes a while for me to find my center. And when more than one thing is off-balance, well...that's when I don't blog for five months and only pop in to write a few lengthy and wonderfully vague posts about "life, etc." However, I can feel myself gradually bouncing back and I think a lot of it has to do with my active attempt at building a schedule, finding contentment in routine, and pushing myself to just go through the motions until something feels different. Best post-grad advice I've been given. Thanks Mom.

So here's to a long overdue outfit post. And hoping this isn't just a momentary spark of style blogging brilliance. And by brilliance, I really just mean attendance.

I'm here—present & dressed, clothed & caffeinated. Happy fall.

_____________
Outfit Details:

Shift Dress—Madewell
Cameo Necklace—Vintage
Gold Watch—GUESS
Black Crossbody—Vintage Coach
Brown Ankle Boots—Madewell

That Wave

The longer I go not blogging, the easier it becomes to, well...not blog. I can't remember the last time I took an outfit photo. And you know what? I'm okay with it. While I'm not ready to completely break up with this blog, I think this hiatus is necessary.

I've got a whole lot of thoughts about a whole lot of things and I'm not sure where to pick up. And I don't know what feels appropriate or not to share on this "style" blog. Or, let's be honest, the internet in general. Without blogging, I feel like I'm lacking a creative outlet, but I can't put my finger on the type of creative outlet I'm in desperate need of.

I've spent the past month not-so-secretly binge watching Sex and the City (yes, there are a million other more intellectual shows to watch, but there's something so relatable about it that I just can't resist.) and a part of me really just wants to be a Carrie and magically support myself in NYC by writing one relationship column. Which, nowadays, would be like me paying my overpriced LA rent by contributing one blog post to Cosmopolitan per month - sound about right? But truthfully, a lot of what I've wanted to blog about lately has not been about fashion or style. In fact, it's been the furthest thing from it. Blame it on working in fashion, but once I get home, the last thing I want to do is look at another screen and keep talking about clothes. Don't get me wrong, I'll always love clothes, but variety really is the spice of life.

I think I'm in the midst of one of those angsty #postgrad transitions (I should probably start contributing to Thought Catalog.) and I'm riding that wave of change. Honestly, the changes have been mostly good. But change is change nonetheless and it still leaves me with an unsettled feeling that I can't quite place. Anyway, I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Just thought I'd check in and give a cyber hey-I'm-still-around-but-nope-still-no-outfits. And in the meantime, while I figure out my creative calling, here's a mystical iPhone photo to enjoy. I say that sarcastically, but I actually do really love this shot. You don't always need a fancy DSLR to perfectly capture a moment.

It's been nice to scribble back in this journal blog for a little bit. Be back soon...maybe :)

Transitions

My my my it's been quite a while, hasn't it? This wasn't one of those planned blogging breaks. It was one of those breaks where life got crazy and suddenly I had a second to breathe, looked at my blog, and realized I hadn't posted for over two months. Whether you're in school or not, there's just something about summer that feels transitory. I know I'm certainly in a place of transition right now. Even though I finished classes back in December, I'm officially officially a graduate. It's the end of a wonderful mini-era that I wouldn't change for the world. I don't know if I'd relive it in a heartbeat, since I finally feel ready to move on to the next chapter, but I do know that I'll miss every second of it.

One of the strangest parts of this transition is watching friends leave, while things stay relatively the same for me. I'm still at the same great job and will still be in LA for the foreseeable future. However, I can't help but feel somewhat left behind while everything is changing around me. On another note, I'm not quite sure about the future of this little blog of mine either. I've made no promises to myself one way or the other, but right now life is too busy for me to make it a priority. And...I know it'll still be here whenever I do decide to come back.

For now, I'm just going to ride the wave of this summer transition. I'm in between apartments and will be "moving" for the next month (Moving "Day" is a myth—it feels more like Moving Year) so everything is disorganized and up in the air. I don't do well with change, but I'm working on it and trying to do that thing called living in the moment. We'll see how it goes :)

Check

You may or may not have already noticed, but I gave my blog a facelift over the weekend. It's not nearly finished and in sort of a weird transitional phase, but I figured it was definitely time for a change. On an equally important note, I've also decided to wear my hair in a middle part. This was a big weekend for me.

Honestly, this little redesign was such a long time coming and I'm glad I finally took the plunge while I had some time back home this weekend. You know those things that sit on your to-do list forever and silently haunt you? This was sort of one of them. My blog header was also a lovely reminder of my Peter Pan Syndrome, since it still said I was an undergrad despite the fact that I finished classes 4 months ago. (WHAT? yeah...) So, here's to "checking" things off the list and accepting change.

P.S. This is a casual outfit I wore to work a while ago. Destroyed denim + plain white tee = highly recommended ✓ 

___________

Outfit Details:

White Tee—Madewell

Polka Dot Scarf—Forever 21

Sunglasses—Ray-Ban

Destroyed Jeans—GUESS

Blue/Rose Gold Watch—GUESS

Taupe Satchel—Anthropologie

Taupe Ankle Boots—Target

First article

Grain Of Salt

Okay, don't get annoyed but I'm trying out the "blogger" style of wearing my jacket over my shoulders. IRL, I would never actually do this...mainly because it literally falls off if I try to walk anywhere and also because it doesn't actually keep me warm. But, I mean, practicality isn't what blogging is all about...is it?

These days it seems more about the illusion captured in a single picture or carefully crafted Instagram. I guess I've just been seeing some shifts in the blogging world that make me miss the days of following grassroots bloggers completely uninfluenced by advertisers. This isn't to say that I don't monetize my own blog in some way, but I suppose my reminiscing is just a reminder that I always want to keep my blog as organic as possible. Maybe I'll take that statement back in a few years (although, I don't plan to), but no matter what I'd like to avoid taking myself too seriously. Everything with a grain of salt...

____________

Outfit Details:

Tee—Madewell (shop)

Denim Jacket—Anthropologie (similar)

Earrings—Nordstrom (similar)

Sunglasses—Ray-Ban (shop)

Watch—GUESS (shop)

Printed Pants—Vintage (similar)

Bag—Gifted (similar)

Flats—J. Crew (similar)

Reminder

Shop this post: 

So, I'm going to be honest with you. After writing my last post, I wasn't really planning on blogging at all this week. Things are busy...and I've been stressed. However, this morning, I noticed a huge spike in my page views and saw that I had been featured on CollegeFashion.net. Needless to say, it completely made my morning and I looked like a total weirdo smiling behind my laptop sitting alone at my favorite coffee shop. I know this little article may not be a huge deal to big time bloggers, but for me it's the big leagues. Especially since I was featured alongside Kendi Everyday—the first style blog I ever read! Anyway, it's little things like this that remind me why I got into blogging. It's nice to know that my outfits and random musings/tangents have somehow found their way to wonderful readers like you. So, thanks for the reminder :)

And now, here's an outfit I wore an absurdly long time ago on a Sunday laundry day. It was born out of necessity, since I hadn't done laundry in about three weeks and only had a few clean outfits left. I feel like I'm sort of channeling Hannah from GIRLS, but in the best way possible (I hope). And you can't really see in these pictures, but my tights have a massive run in them—which seems only fitting for laundry day.

____________

Outfit Details:

Chambray Romper—Ruche (shop)

Cardigan—H&M (similar)

Necklace—Dogeared (shop)

Sunglasses—Ray Ban (shop)

Tights—Anthropologie (similar)

Bag—B. Makowsky (similar)

Boots—Madewell (shop)

Unplugged

So, I've been thinking a lot lately—now's your chance, leave before it's too late!—and this whole working full-time and blogging thing is well...hard. And it's not necessarily because I don't have the time for it. It's just that lately, I haven't been able to find the energy or motivation to do it. I think my main hold up is due to the fact that I work in an office for 8 to 10 hours a day sitting behind a screen. And, honestly, when I come home the last thing I want to do is spend even more time behind a screen.

I've been making a conscious effort to "unplug" as much as a can at night after work. This can just be little things, like sitting and eating dinner with no TV or cell phone to distract me. And I'll tell you, it's amazing how many times in a 20 minute period I find myself unconsciously reaching for my phone just to refresh my Instagram feed. But, believe it or not, I'm slowly but surely learning that the Instagram of donuts that was posted 2 minutes ago is in fact the same photo 20 minutes later...

The truth is, there's a learning curve to this whole work-life balance and I'm only just starting to figure it out. Although I do think I'm doing an okay job at balancing my work and social life (I use the term "social" very loosely), finding a way to fit in my personal hobbies—like this blog—on top of that has proved more difficult than expected. While this is probably just a temporary blogging funk, I've always told myself to never blog when it begins to feel like a chore (which is why I could never become a full-time blogger, aside from the fact that you can't pay rent in free clothes) hence my lack of posts the past couple weeks.

Honestly, I'll probably be back shortly. Even writing this post is getting me back into the blogging mood. I just figured I'd send a little update on this public diary of mine :)

No Outfit, Just Some Thoughts...

Hi again! It's been a while, hasn't it? Probably the longest I've gone without blogging in the past two years. In fact, turns out I missed my two-year "blogiversary" by about 20 days. So...while I'm here...happy two years of blogging to me! Anyways, this has been a crazy month filled with a lot of personal changes. Because this is a public blog and not my personal diary, I'll spare you of all the nitty gritty details. Instead, I'll write something wonderfully vague to satisfy both my need to vent as well as give some sort of explanation for my absence.

As I get older, I'm becoming all the more aware that life is simply a series of constant changes and adjustments. Seeing as I don't do so well with change, this has been a hard pill for me to swallow. I've tried to explain it using the analogy of an ebb and flow. There are periods of time when everything seems to be going right, I'm in a natural routine, and I might even find myself, dare I say it...bored. However, as the universe will have it, too long of a flow is usually followed by an ebb—a more tumultuous period that usually involves a lot of change. It's a time when everything appears off balance and wine nights with my roommates seem to be the solution to everything (okay I take it back: these wine nights happen during the good times, too). If this convoluted analogy doesn't make any sense, perhaps this one will: When it rains, it pours.

Regardless of what metaphor I use to explain this past month, August has been a bit of a downpour and blogging hasn't really been on my radar. It's even taken me about two weeks to motivate myself to write this blog post. I have no doubt that I'll eventually get back into the habit of blogging since I really do love it, but getting my actual life together is taking a higher priority in this whole situation. Summer is coming to a close, and I'm about to enter my last quarter of college. Don't get me started...I'm already having a mild panic attack. My best friend and I have taken to calling it senior quarter rather than senior year since we are both taking the plunge into the "real world" come December. While I feel surprisingly prepared for what's to come, it's still hard to wrap my head around all the personal and professional changes that are headed my way in the coming months. Last night my roommates and I were discussing the whirlwind of changes that this past year has brought, so I can only imagine the craziness that these next 12 months have in store.

For now, I'm just trying to keep my head above water and appreciate the strong support system I have at home and in LA. Not to sound cheesy, but it's something I really am so grateful for. And, when all else fails, I've been living by this simple quote (yeah, maybe I found it on a Dove chocolate wrapper, who knows): You are exactly where you are supposed to be.

So...here's to a crazy September!