The Theory Of Somethings

Sunday, December 21, 2014

40 days of dating blog artwork
{image via 40 Days Of Dating—grab a bottle of wine and read the entire blog in one sitting, you won't regret it}

I just saw The Theory of Everything (alone I might add—it's a new thing for me and I really like it) and it got me thinking about well, everything. But A taboo word I've somehow avoided on this blog, except while in a happy relationship. Yet, funnily enough, I think my reflection on love now—as an outsider looking in—might be all the more interesting than a post singing its praises by someone wrapped up in the midst of it.

What first sparked my reflection was a discussion I had with my best friend after she saw the film a week prior. Her critique was that the love story was uninspiring and painted a negative picture of marriage. While I agree that it isn't successful marriage propaganda, its realistic portrayal of the struggles of life and marriage is what I found most, well...inspiring.

This was a love story whose happy ending lay on the other side of that love. A story that feels (and is) real, because so much happiness can be found on the other side of a romance. Sometimes that happiness may come with new love, or other times, it can come with an acceptance that the person was right for you at one point, but that phase of your life has come and gone. And so rarely do films showcase this very real truth. I think that's what's so captivating about it.

I often feel that finding love is looked at as a linear process. You search (and by search...I mean linger in bars, make questionable decisions and....swipe right) and search, you date, until finally one day you get it right. We've learned to expect a fairly simple process, haven't we?

But what about every love story in between? Like the love you truly thought would never end, but did. Or the one you knew would never last, but made you ignore all logic for an embarrassing amount of time. I'm beginning to think that there may not be one right person for you, but instead a right person for you during certain periods (however short or long) in your life.

I suppose the key, the ideal, is to find someone to span all those phases of life with you. Or at least every phase of life from the moment you meet them onwards. But that isn't always the case. And don't get me wrong—I'm not about to let go of the ideal just yet—but I am looking at it through a much different lens than before.

Anyway, the real point is: if you haven't already done so, see the film. It's two hours well spent.


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